Do not hold on too tightly.
Lately, I’ve been listening to so many audiobooks, podcasts, and radio interviews, that I can't recall where I heard this phrase…but the words stuck so fully that I’ve written it down as a permanent task on my to-do list.
Do not hold on too tightly.
I can apply it to nearly every aspect of life. And it's become a new mantra whenever I feel stress or anxiety start to set in, and when I'm gripping too fully onto an idea of how I wish my life would go.
It can be applied to our belongings, or anything else we dare not let go of...
A pair of shoes.
A belief pattern.
A dream of relationship or family.
Do / not / hold / on / too / tightly.
Regardless of what your spiritual beliefs are, I think we can all agree that we don't know what lies ahead. And that sometimes when we want something, the thing we get instead ends up being what's best for us.
For instance: I wanted an enormous acting career. Broadway, Oscars, riches, all of it. I held on to that very, very tightly--for the better part of 30 years. I couldn't imagine anything else making me happy.
What I got instead are two life paths I could never have imagined -- one as a singer-songwriter and one as a decluttering pro (and author, OMG).
I still mourn the acting career. Sometimes I cry, or feel guilt, or feel like a failure. (And, who knows, the hit TV show may show up later in life.) But it turns out that telling the truth through both my music and my decluttering work provides me with exceptional forms of release and freedom. And I know those things are good for me.
Loosening the grip can lead to gifts we may never have imagined.
Loosening the grip can lead our relaxed brain to new realizations and lessons we may treasure for a lifetime.
Loosening the grip can give us a direct access to peace.
These days, I long to become a mother -- and even though I know this is a very possible dream in one form or another, having a child naturally is not something I have complete control over. Reminding myself not to hold on too tightly to this part of the dream is extremely helpful, bringing much more relaxation and wonder to the process of trying.
Similarly, we can relate this concept to tasks on our to-do lists -- all those things we feel we must do! But, when we welcome this new awareness, we may realize that loosening the grip and deleting tasks is in our best interest -- even if it makes us a tad uncomfortable at first, and even if we think we’re letting others down.
Do.Not.Hold.On.Too.Tightly.
And, of course, that pair or shoes that are sooo cool but hurt to wear, or that stack of magazines filled with all those super-informative articles to read some day.... maybe it's time to stop holding on too tightly to those, too.
You might cry a little, but it’ll be good for you. ...And once they're gone, we're free again.